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Day 23 - Detroit, MI - Magic Stick - 9/17

I'm in Fresno now. I don't want to go back to the Bay area. The nightmare continues there.

I'll tell you about Devin. Devin Wardlaw is my friend to the end. He is one of a kind. If you know him, chances are you hate him, or else you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you hate him, I hate you (with the exception of Julie C.) I miss Devin. He lives in Chattanooga. The Bay area would not have him. I dedicate this tour effort to Devin Wardlaw.

Day 24 - Chicago, IL - Subterranean - 9/18

I was on a date with this girl once, years ago. She was late picking me up, so I gave her a Fleet enema. I mean, I just handed it to her, as a joke. She didn't laugh. We saw a movie, then to Safeway for snacks and beer. Once inside, I isolated myself near the deli section because I had to fart. Guess what came out: SOFT POO. It went all the way down my leg and into my shoe. What would you do? It was after hours, so nobody was behind the deli. I ran back there and got my pants, shorts, socks and shoes off. I used a wet rag to clean up as best I could. I came out minus shorts and one sock. Back at the checkstand, I was doing a funny stance and checking out YM magazine at some distance away from my date. I couldn't stop laughing. We got in the car and I rolled the window down.

"Okay, what the fuck."

After some hesitation: "Okay, I shit my pants in the grocery store."

"Oh my god, etc. etc. You drink too much etc."

Things didn't work out too well, but we did part ways with her saying, "Don't worry, it makes you more real."

Which I thought was a nice thing to say.

I tell this story because:

1. People think I'm only talking shit on other band members -- thus drawing false conclusions that I hate them.
2. I heard this story (which is one of my favorites) is being passed around without the essential details (i.e., the end).

Oh yah, a few days later I got this huge rash on my leg, which was a result of, I'm guessing, industrial strength cleaner on the rag I used behind the deli.

And that's how it happened!

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