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Day 002 - Fresno, CA - home - 5/11/05

• Q: don't you think, though...that perhaps the scapegoat deserves his punishment?
• A: how so?
• Q: maybe he is guilty of things no one knows about...maybe he's done something worse than the thing for which he is blamed....so it is possible he is getting exactly what he deserves...or perhaps he deserves worse...
• A: I don't think it is our business to judge such things...
• Q: oh....it is MY business.

Day 003 - Fresno, CA - home - 5/12/05

this occurred in the middle of a conversation I had today:

• Q: how do you know?
• A: I don't know, I just know.

this maddens me in the same way these eminem lyrics do:

"I am whatever you say I am / if I wasn't / then why would I say I am"

I feel as though I am in vertigo when I think of these words strung together. I feel like it is the end of the world.

Fresno, CA - home - 5/30/05

I got home and saw the pool -- it has been filled. this morning at around 11, I took a swim in the nude. I submerged myself and when I came up again, all the colors had changed. the sky became a purplish-grey. I was not wearing sun glasses. I brought my arms out of the water and they were orange. the leaves on the trees were almost blue. I got out and sat near the pool, with the colors like this. the hammock swung in the wind. I dried off and went inside for a minute. when I came back out, the colors were back to normal.

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